“Good Sex, Great Prayers” Deemed So Offensive It’s Unreadable (or: how to be a lazy reviewer)

My publisher put me on something called a blog tour. I guess the deal is that they provide the books and all these “reviewer” cats have to do is write something about what they read. In all honestly, I had never heard of any of these people. Didn’t seem like they had big followings compared to places like Booked. or Shock Totem, but I was interested to see the reaction of people who had never heard of me and were outside my circle. Anyway…earlier today my publisher sent me an interesting read, the blog tour notes courtesy of Naomi Leadbeater. Enjoy:

GSGP blog tour notes

A couple things before I get to the real meat of this.

First, my villains act like villains. If they made your skin crawl or twisted your stomach like a wet towel–hey, guess what–I did my job. I did my job so damn well it manifested in physical sense.

Regarding a change in cover and title: how do you think this works? That some blogger suggests this major change and the publisher just hops to it? Are we supposed to recall every print edition of the book and make those changes along with the aforementioned disclaimer? I hope to Christ my publisher didn’t pay you for this sort of input.

But let’s get back to that disclaimer issue. Naomi says: “It needs a disclaimer, while the synopsis was well written, it still gave me the impression I could read it — which I definitely couldn’t.”

I’m still trying to wrap my head around this one. Like, what happened? Did you get sick? Did you get lightheaded? Were you suddenly struck by illiteracy? It’s a very vague excuse for not holding up your end of the agreement, the one where you were given a free copy in exchange for coverage. Even if it was a one-star bitchslap, I would have liked to have seen that review. Think about it, Naomi, maybe your review could have been the disclaimer that my novel is missing. Maybe you could have been the proverbial caution sign warning the world about that curling iron scene. Instead though, you just decided to be lazy and hold up the white flag. And my Perfect Edge counterparts didn’t fare much better.

Here’s your review of Anthony David Jacques’ Subliminal Messiah:

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That’s it? Really? You start with a ringing endorsement, and then you say you’ll post more about it…then you never do it. What the hell, man?

And here’s your review of Amy Biddle’s The Atheist’s Prayer:

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Great. You love the first half of the book. Where’s the other half, Naomi? What right do you have to call yourself a reviewer if you’re just going to half-ass this gig?

This isn’t a personal attack against you. This is me pointing out that out of three books you didn’t deliver a single complete review. And then you have to gall to give us notes and suggestions? That’s laughable.

Here’s my suggestion to you: if you’re going to call yourself a reviewer and accept free books, maybe you should actually do the work.

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